Match a car to a personality 13

". ." (xllx) 01/28/2014 at 17:34 • Filed to: match a car

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We all know that a person's car choice will often reflect on their personality. How about we try to do it the other way? I'll give you a description of a person and you'll try to come up with a perfect car for them.

You may post cars that are reasonably within reach for the described person, or ones that aren't but seem like they would suit them perfectly (although I'd prefer you stick to the former choice). Also, try to stick to mass produced cars. I know that hot rods are cool, but I'd rather you keep it within reason.

For previous editions click !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Person 1:

A man in his mid 40's. Unemployed, uneducated and with very little (if any) common sense. He has no income apart from alimony payments he receives from his estranged wife. He has never put in a honest day of work and doesn't even look for employment, he just spends his time looking for ways to sue other people so he can become rich. He has problems with alcohol abuse and has previously undergone psychiatric treatments. An extremely paranoid person he thinks everyone and everything is out to get him, yet he is absolutely faultless. He lives in a medium sized city and knows how to drive a manual, but has no interest in cars.

Person 2:

An active-duty US Air Force pilot in his late 20's stationed in Germany. He has just been deployed and needs a car that'll be both useable around town and cool. He is a moderate petrolhead and knows both how to wrench (or at least how to perform basic maintenance and simple repairs) and how to drive a manual. While it wouldn't be a massive problem if the car he got turned out to be slighty unreliable (as he wouldn't need to drive it everyday, and could bum rides from other people anyway), but at least a modicum of reliability is desired.

Pedro Rafael > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:37

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Miata, the answer is always Miata. But since Person 1 has no common sense he could have a Murano CrossCabrio. And Person 2 a Miata.

DanimalHouse > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:37

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Person 1: 1985 Mercury Grand Marquis 2-door.

Because it's classy as shit.

CAR_IS_MI > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:38

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Person 1:

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:38

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Number 1

number 2

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A…

CAR_IS_MI > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:39

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Person 2:

POD > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:39

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not 100% sure why, but person 1 seems like they would drive a Chevy Luv.

Person 2, maybe something in the Jeep family?

Trunk Impaired 318 > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:40

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Person 2: BMW M135i

Nonster > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:43

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Person 1: probably some kinda beater, I'm thinking early 90's domestic sedan like a chevy lumina or something like that

Person 2: Don't know why, but I instantly think mustang or camaro for a young military guy. For this I say a late 90's camaro

WolfmanJimCBW > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:44

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Person 1: Sounds like a lot of people in my area, a 1974 Trans-Am with a I6. All 100hp

Person 2: A Saab, because jet plane

Brian Silvestro > Trunk Impaired 318 01/28/2014 at 17:46

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Beat me to it, this is a perfect answer.

Korea Miéville > Nonster 01/28/2014 at 17:55

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I was thinking exactly the same thing about Person 2. I was looking at used Mustangs and Camaros recently, and every other 2000s Mustang and the one 90s Camaro I saw belonged to someone from the air force base here.

Giles007 > . . 01/28/2014 at 17:56

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Person 1: 1995 Cadillac Fleetwood.

Giles007 > Brian Silvestro 01/28/2014 at 17:57

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That's what I would choose.

Korea Miéville > . . 01/28/2014 at 18:01

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Person 1 really excited my imagination for some reason. I'm picturing a 2004 Camry, tan. This guy probably hasn't bought a car in his own name in years, so it actually belonged to his ex-wife, and she let him keep it when they split. It has a huge dent in the side as pictured, from when he ran a stop sign while drunk and got t-boned.

NoahthePorscheGuy > . . 01/28/2014 at 18:09

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Person 2 if this was in the 1950's:

GhostZ > . . 01/28/2014 at 18:12

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Person 1:

I know a guy like this, except he works for the IRS delivering notices. He drives this:

Except it's rusted and falling apart, because his criteria for a car is "4 wheels a high MPG", and he ALWAYS. BUYS. THE. CHEAPEST. OF. EVERYTHING. Cheap shirts, cheap home, cheap shoes, cheap car.

Guy #2 would have no access to 'murican muscle in that part of the world, but he would have cheap access to this:

Opel GT. Not unreliable, not wholly practical, but secretly American and fun as hell.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > . . 01/28/2014 at 18:45

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Person 1:

beaten up Infiniti J-series. "luxury", but it screams "south side"
Person 2:

Fast, cool, Euro only! The Renaultsport Meganne 225!

tomtom615 > . . 01/28/2014 at 19:35

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I bestow on man #1.... a new Chevy Silverado 1500 (crew cab, natch.)

First of all, he trusts it because America and Chevy and Apple pie and Bruuuuuuce! Second, he likes it because he can sit up high and look down on all those "suckers" who have jobs and junk.

Third, it's a workin' man's truck and it reminds him of all of the hard work he put in to earn it

Person 2: This is tricky because it matters what kind of plane he flies. if he is a fighter pilot, he wants that, but on the ground. If he drives a cargo plane, his choice will be much more boring, or a Jeep product (I work on a C17 base, and there are tons of Jeep products in their parking lot)

Fighter: He will buy a 911, because he needs everyone to know he is very important and knows BMWs, Audis and Mercs are for regular people. His car needs to have a bit of danger to it, because his job is so dangerous and he is such a badass.

Also, the speed and danger reminds him of all of the dogfights he has been in as a pilot.

Cargo Pilot: He doesn't want anything too fast or crazy because he dreamed of going fast in the air and that dream was crushed. He fears id he busy something fast, that will let him down as well. He buys a lifted Grand Cherokee

Boy oh boy is this thing functional! Sure, it may not be as fast as your Porsche, but it can do more, and who likes to go fast anyways? Your Porsche wouldn't be able to go fast if my GC didn't do its job and move stuff or something. Plus, my GC can go rock crawling if it wants, can your car climb a rock? Didn't think so. Look at all of the rocks my car went over

Singhjr96 > WolfmanJimCBW 01/28/2014 at 22:07

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Person 2: A Saab, because jet plane

That is an awesome answer. Well done, I applaud you.

WolfmanJimCBW > Singhjr96 01/29/2014 at 08:22

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Thanks.